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If You Want More Freedom Create Better Boundaries

It sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it?  Boundaries are lines that mark limits, and freedom is the power to act, speak, or think without restraint.  If those definitions are accurate, how it possible to have more freedom by creating limits?

Aren’t we bombarded every day with images, articles, blogs, commercials, etc., showing us a limitless life? Where our freedom is in our control, where if we do more work, we’ll have more freedom. If we’d just visualize more, get more organized, develop more relationships, buy more things, take on more roles, get more education…then, then we’ll find the freedom we’ve been searching for.

We’ll have the freedom to do what we want.

How’s that worked for you so far?

If you’re like me, you’ve found that all of those things, all of those tasks, haven’t helped me find freedom.

The big house requires you to spend more time maintaining it than you want.  The new role you took demands your attention morning, noon, and night (or at least you think it does). The endless meetings you scheduled are taking away from the project you’ve wanted to do for the last year.

You can’t do it all. 

Yes, I’m a party pooper, and I’ll risk you thinking that of me because  I’m committed to telling you to the truth.

You can’t do it all. 

And your attempts to do it all are taking away from the freedom you wish so desperately to have.

Trying to be everything to everybody is a recipe for being no one to yourself.

Trying to do everything and do it well is a recipe for disappointment.

When I started PS, I wanted to serve everyone. I believed I could help everyone. I tried to create as many products and services as possible. I tried to collaborate with as many people as I could because “it’s exposure, right?” I worked hard on projects I didn’t want to do.  I ended up frustrated, exhausted, and resentful.  I felt anything but free.

If my business was going to survive…if I was going to survive…it had to stop.

I began to ask myself three questions to help me create better boundaries so I could have more freedom.

1.) Will this work bring me what I need and want? 

There are lots of projects and people I could work with, but I don’t.  I’m focused on working with highly motivated people who are looking to improve their confidence and communication, most specifically women.  Narrowing my focus has helped me say yes to the right people and projects.

2.) Will this collaboration distract me from projects I need to do?

Collaboration and partnerships are great, but they can become a barrier to your freedom if you let them. I’m a people junkie. I love working with and collaborating with others, and that can be dangerous.  I’ve found myself juggling too many projects with too many people, which took time and focus away from what I needed to do. Learning to say no to people, people I love and care about is hard but necessary.

3.) Will this work take more time away from my family than I’m willing to give? 

Early on, I found myself saying yes to anyone, for anything, at nearly anytime. That came at a huge cost to my family, and I carried a boatload of resentment.  I set boundaries around the days and times I would work, take calls, answer emails, etc.  Freedom is spending time with the people I love.

Whether you want more freedom at work or at home you have to create better boundaries.  You dream of a life where you’re doing, where are you are, something extraordinary.  Do something extraordinary and set boundaries for yourself.

Boundaries are the key to unlocking your freedom.

 

 

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