The Six Failures I will make in 2018

I know what you’re thinking. “We are 5 blog-posts in with Alex, and she’s gone off the deep end already!  Somebody grab the popcorn…I can’t wait to watch this!”

Hang on to your bowl…and read on a bit.

You see, 2017 didn’t turn out at all like I had expected or even how I wanted.  When I look back at the goals that I wrote when starting the year, the plans I made, the place I thought I’d be, well…turns out, most of them didn’t happen. Some by chance, some by choice.

And that’s OK.

It got me thinking…I always plan on the things I want to achieve. What would happen if I planned to fail at stuff?   Because, the thing is, I’ve learned a TON from what I’ve failed to accomplish. I dare say, I’ve probably learned more from my failures than my successes (doesn’t everyone say that?).

I decided that instead of writing my 2018 resolutions, I’d write a 2018 Failure Plan.  Here we go…

Ahem…I hereby do solemnly swear to do my best to fail at the following;

1.) Saying the “right” thing

How many times have I answered the “right way” when it really wasn’t what I meant at all. Prime example: “How are you?” I frequently respond with, “I’m great!” Not true, I’m having a lousy day and only telling you what I think you want to hear.

Even more importantly, I’m going to avoid saying the “right” thing when it’s easy, go to, “safe” thing to say. Let me give you another example…my good friend loses a job, suffers a tragedy or hardship.  I say something like “Don’t worry, it will all work out in the end.”

Not. Helpful.

What I mean to say, and what I need to say is, “That’s awful, it stinks, it hurts, and I absolutely HATE IT for you.  And I’m going to sit right here with you until you don’t need me anymore.” Or something along those lines.

I know that’s what I would want to hear, and I imagine my friend(s) would too.

2.) Listening to others

Yep. Not. Going.To.Do.It.  I’m going to fail to listen to others…sometimes… and here’s why.

It’s easy for me to let someone else make a decision, guide my thoughts or talk me out of/into things (there’s a litany of reasons behind this, however, for the sake of brevity I’ll spare ya the sob story).  This isn’t helpful. And the truth is, I make good decisions. And when I trust it, my gut is usually spot on.

I’m going to fail to listen when:

a.) I’ve already made the decision

b.) The person talking isn’t a trusted advisor or friend who’s earned the right to weigh in on my decision.

c.) My gut says something is off.

3.) Giving 100% 

This is a great idea in theory.  Who doesn’t want to give everything, their all, all the time?  But man oh man does this set us up for burnout, failure, fatigue, resentment, etc.  If I give 100% all of the time to everyone and everything, I’ll have nothing left for me, and I can’t give what I don’t have. So…something or someone will have to take a back seat from time to time. When I need to be 100%, I’ll be ready.

4.) A wildly important goal

 I have this habit of writing goals that are challenging to obtain but not impossible.  It works, and I make progress, but I can’t help but wonder… what would happen if I wrote a goal so big, and so important and so impossible that there really won’t be any other option but to fail?  (I know I know… I can hear you now saying… “now, Alex. Nothing is impossible”). Stick with me on this one for a second…if my challenging goals are bringing me success, what would an impossible goal bring me? How much further would I go? How much harder would I push?  I’m going to find out…

5.) Speaking my mind

My husband laughed out loud when I told him about this one. He’s like “Really? You?”  OK… OK… I get it. I’ve been known to speak out of turn, to say something when I shouldn’t (generally offending someone) and to pop off with a funny quip that only I think is funny.  So, in light of this particular habit, I’m going to fail to speak what’s on my mind. I’m going to do my best to ask myself the question “Is what you are about to say true, kind and necessary?” If what I’m about to say doesn’t meet that criteria, I’m going to do my best to zip it.

6.) Being calm and composed

Don’t get me wrong. There are times and places for calm, composed interactions.  However, I hold my feelings and excitement back… a lot.  Why?

There are a couple of reasons:

a.) Because it’s not always “socially acceptable” to show a wide range of emotions.

b.) I’m afraid that if I do, what people will think I’m too over-the-top

c.)  The feedback that I’ve received which I’ll save for a later post (“Alex, you’re too effusive”).

And I get it. I don’t want to be the crazy woman in the room (all the time). However, sometimes I hold back on showing my affection, excitement, or even my love.  I don’t give a hug to the new acquaintance because I’m not sure how they’ll take it, I don’t belly laugh out loud at the joke that deserves it,  and I don’t’ always say “I love you” first.

And that’s not OK because it’s not who I am or how I feel. It’s not how I want to live my life. I’m going to start reigning my composure in and letting my excitement show.

So… watch out world!  Here comes Alex, big smushy grins, and kisses all the way.

I have no doubt I will fail at everything listed above and so much more. And for this year, I’m super excited about that.  I hope you, too, will find the things you’d like to fail at most in 2018 and in your life…making it that much better in the end. 

I would LOVE to hear what your failures will be. So write them out in the comments below, and we’ll help keep each other on track.

Until the next time… Happy New Year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 replies
  1. Jane Sulanke
    Jane Sulanke says:

    First, I love that the “T” had to find its own line. Now, about #3 . How about shifting from 100% to finding a belief that everyone, including you, does his or her best all of the time? I can’t remember where this concept came to me from, but have worked on it for years. I can always find something to appreciate in myself and others when I start from this belief. Why would anyone do less than their best? And, I can never know their circumstances so I can accept that what I see is the best they are capable of in that moment. Me, and you, too.

    Reply

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