Saying no to a friend, a colleague, or a family member. Speaking up when you’re afraid—staying quiet when others are not. Exercising, avoiding crappy food and booze, steering clear of drama, and gossip. They’re not called hard choices for no reason. They’re hard choices because they require you to be uncomfortable. You don’t like to be uncomfortable. It’s much easier to be comfortable, isn’t it? Don’t you love being comfortable?
Easy is comfortable.
You know already though that easy comes with lots of problems. Easy choices feel good in the short term and leave all kinds of damage long term. Easy decisions don’t get you closer to your goals; they take you further away. You think an easy choice doesn’t take away much when, in reality, it takes away almost everything you say you want: time, freedom, and power. Easy choices take more of your time and energy than hard choices because they require you to make them over and over and over again.
You say yes when you mean no, and you lose time in resentment, frustration, and anger. You hold back, not sharing your ideas, delaying solutions to problems. You speak out of turn, creating drama and anxiety. You avoid the run, have the third drink, and call your friend to ‘vent’ because “It’s not a big deal. I don’t do it that much.” All the while, not realizing that the easy choice your making is making you numb, numb to how much damage you’re doing.
Easy doesn’t last.
You need more, more approval, more spotlight, more drama, more booze, more, more, more. Before you know it, easy is your full-time job. All those times of “I don’t do it that much” add up to “I did that a whole lot.” You’re stuck facing the reality that the hard choices are now harder, and you aren’t any closer to the life you want.
The power to change your life lies in hard choices.
If you want a better life, if you want a life that’s free of drama, where you’re meeting your goals and loving the people you’re with, you must learn to make the hard choice. The good news is the habit of making hard choices starts hard but becomes easy over time. Hard choices, when made consistently, become easier.
You learn to spot an opportunity and say yes without hesitation. You learn to say no, with a smile. You learn to speak up even when you’re scared. You learn to stay quiet when you’re input isn’t required. Your colleagues don’t come to you to gossip because they know you won’t. You don’t need to watch your weight because you’re making good choices already. You don’t need the first, second, or third drink because you’re happy without.
After a while, you find that making the hard choices has done the hard work for you, and you’ve created the life you want to live.
You have a choice. Will you choose the route that will lead you to the life you say you want to live, or will you make the easy choice?
I know what I’d choose for you.